Be One Shade Braver: Small Shifts for Big Confidence
Stepping outside your comfort zone can feel daunting, especially when you’re navigating one of life’s big transitions. Maybe you’re winding down a career, stepping into retirement, juggling part-time work with family or grandparenting, or exploring new passions and friendships. Change at this stage of life is both exciting and unnerving.
And then there’s the quiet voice of internalised ageism whispering, “You’re too old for this.” Let’s be clear — you’re not. That voice isn’t the truth. It’s a story we’ve been told for too long, and it’s time to rewrite it.
Bravery, at this stage of life, doesn’t mean leaping off a cliff or reinventing yourself overnight. It means being “one shade braver” — taking small, intentional steps toward a fuller, more aligned life.
Let me give you an example from my own life.
Just this week, I was interviewed for the TV show Over Fifty—So What? with Carol O’Halloran, a seasoned presenter who shares fantastic stories of possibility and active lives for people over fifty. I was thrilled and nervous—what an opportunity! But during the interview, I had moments where my mind went blank, where I stumbled over my words, even moments when I wasn’t making sense to myself. Thankfully, it was pre-recorded! Sitting in the studio lights, with the cameras rolling, I couldn’t help but feel exposed and out of my depth at times.
Afterwards, I needed to decompress. But once the nerves settled, I felt over the moon about the achievement. I’d done it—I’d stepped way outside my comfort zone, and, despite the imperfections, I felt proud, stretched, and invigorated. I was reminded, once again, that I’m capable of more than I think.
So if you’re standing at the edge of something new, wondering if you’re too old, too late, or too unsure, know that you're not alone. You don’t need to go from hesitation to heroics overnight. Here's how to begin, just one shade braver at a time:
1. Start Small
Big changes can feel overwhelming, and when we focus on the enormity of the task ahead, we can get paralysed by fear. The trick? Break things down into manageable pieces. Instead of trying to take on everything at once, start with small, doable steps. Each time you make a move, you build momentum. Even tiny steps forward can help you feel braver.
2. Shift Your Focus
Our minds often gravitate toward what could go wrong, but what if you focused on what could go right instead? Shift your mindset by asking yourself: “What’s the best that could happen?” When you focus on the positive possibilities, you’ll find that your courage grows. Positive thinking can reframe the unknown into an exciting opportunity, rather than a source of anxiety.
3. Embrace Imperfection
Perfectionism is one of the biggest roadblocks to bravery. You don’t have to be flawless to succeed. In fact, bravery often looks like embracing imperfection. The willingness to try something new, even if it’s messy or unpolished, is where growth happens. The more you allow yourself to be imperfect, the more freedom you have to take bold steps.
4. Celebrate Small Wins
Don’t wait for the big, shiny accomplishments to celebrate your progress. Every time you take a small step outside your comfort zone, acknowledge it. Whether it’s trying a new approach, saying yes to something you normally wouldn’t, or simply taking a deep breath and jumping in, these small wins add up. Celebrating each success boosts your confidence and propels you forward.
5. Build a Support System
Surround yourself with people who encourage and support you. Whether it’s friends, family, or a community that shares your goals, we often feel braver when we know others have our back. A supportive network provides both reassurance and accountability, helping you navigate uncertain moments with confidence.
6. Reframe Fear as Excitement
Fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin. They share similar physical responses — your heart races, your palms sweat — but the difference lies in how you interpret them. Instead of viewing fear as something to avoid, reframe it as excitement. That same nervous energy can be a sign that something new and important is just around the corner.
7. Give Yourself Permission
Too often, we hold ourselves back because we feel we need permission to step forward. Here’s the truth: You don’t need permission from anyone but yourself. Give yourself the grace to take risks and try new things. It’s okay to feel unsure or anxious; those feelings are part of the process. By giving yourself permission to move forward, you’ll feel empowered to take action.
8. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
A growth mindset is all about seeing challenges as opportunities to learn and improve. Instead of focusing solely on the risks involved, think about the lessons you’ll gain from the experience. The more you view challenges as chances to grow, the more likely you are to step into them with confidence.
9. Visualise Success
Visualisation is a powerful tool for building courage. Before you take a leap, take a moment to visualise yourself succeeding. Picture the positive outcomes that will come from stepping outside your comfort zone. When you can see yourself succeeding, it makes taking that first step feel much more doable.
10. Practice Self-Compassion
Being kind to yourself is essential when it comes to being braver. When you’re compassionate with yourself, you give yourself the space to make mistakes, try new things, and grow at your own pace. Self-compassion also helps us bounce back from setbacks, knowing that each step is part of the learning process.
A Little Bravery Goes a Long Way
The key to building confidence and embracing new experiences is consistency. Being “one shade braver” doesn’t require massive leaps — it’s about showing up, taking small steps, and recognising each one as progress. Over time, these small acts of courage will compound, and you’ll look back amazed at how far you’ve come.
Remember, bravery isn’t about being fearless; it’s about being willing. So, what’s one small thing you can do today to step outside your comfort zone?