Getting Unstuck: Small Shifts That Change Everything After Fifty

There’s a moment in every woman’s life when things feel… stuck. Not broken, not hopeless—just as if you’re standing at a crossroads, unable to take the next step. I know this feeling intimately. In my late fifties, after years of juggling family, career, and caring for loved ones, I found myself staring at my calendar and wondering, “What now?” I wasn’t unhappy, but I was restless—craving movement, but unsure where to begin.

What I’ve learned, both from my own journey and from the remarkable women I work with, is that getting unstuck rarely requires a grand gesture. More often, it’s about gentle, intentional shifts—small acts of courage, curiosity, and self-compassion that open the door to new possibilities.

The Normalcy of Feeling Stuck

If you’re feeling stuck right now, you’re in good company. Research and countless conversations I’ve had with women over fifty reveal that this is a common, natural part of life’s transitions. Whether it’s after children leave home, a career winds down, or caregiving responsibilities shift, many women experience a pause—a moment of uncertainty or even frustration.

I used to think feeling stuck meant I was doing something wrong. Now, I see it as a natural part of change—a moment to listen in, to ask myself what I truly want next, and to honour the fact that my needs and dreams are evolving.

Why “Pushing Through” Isn’t Always the Answer

Our culture often tells us to “just keep going,” to push through discomfort and keep busy. I tried that approach for years. I filled my days with tasks, commitments, and distractions, hoping that movement would create momentum. But the truth is, busyness is not the same as progress.

What finally helped me was the opposite of pushing: it was pausing. It was giving myself permission to sit with the discomfort, to listen to what was underneath, and to be gentle with myself. I realised that self-compassion and curiosity were far more effective than self-criticism and hustle.

Small Shifts That Make a Big Difference

Getting unstuck doesn’t have to mean making dramatic changes. Here are some gentle, research-backed strategies that I—and many women I’ve worked with—have found helpful:

1. Name What’s True

Take a few minutes to write down what feels stuck and what you wish felt different. Sometimes clarity comes just from naming it. You might discover that what’s holding you back isn’t as overwhelming as it seemed, or that it’s more about a feeling than a specific circumstance.

2. Try a Micro-Action

When we feel stuck, it’s easy to believe that only big changes will help. In reality, small steps can create powerful momentum. Try something tiny: call a friend, walk a new route, sign up for a class, or even just rearrange a space at home. These micro-actions break the routine and signal to your brain that change is possible.

3. The “I Desire” List

One of my favourite practices is the “I Desire” list. I started this during my own period of stuckness: I took a notebook and wrote “I desire…” at the top of the page. Then I let myself list anything that came to mind—big dreams, small comforts, wild ideas, and quiet wishes. The act of naming desires, without judgment, was liberating. Over time, I noticed patterns and new possibilities emerging.

4. Ask: “Is That True?”

When self-doubt or limiting beliefs arise, gently question them. Is it true I can’t try something new at this stage? Or is that just an old story? Often, the stories we tell ourselves about what’s possible are inherited from others or from our younger selves, and they’re ready to be rewritten.

5. Imagine Your Future Self

Visualise yourself five or ten years from now. What would your future self thank you for doing today? Sometimes, imagining advice from your older, wiser self can help clarify what matters most and encourage you to take that first step.

When You Need a Little Help

It’s important to remember that you don’t have to do this alone. Support—whether from friends, a coach, or a group program—can make all the difference. I’ve seen women in my programs move from stuckness to momentum simply by sharing their stories and hearing, “Me too.”

One participant, Marion, shared that she felt paralysed after retiring from a demanding job. Through gentle reflection, group support, and small weekly challenges, she began to reconnect with her interests and confidence. “It wasn’t one big breakthrough,” she told me, “but a series of small wins that added up.”

Even the world’s most creative, successful people need a nudge sometimes. Asking for help, or simply reaching out for a conversation, is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Celebrating Progress, Not Perfection

It’s easy to overlook the small steps we take, especially when we’re focused on a bigger goal. But every gentle shift counts. Looking back, it wasn’t the big leaps that changed my life—it was the small, consistent actions that added up over time. If you’re feeling stuck, start by celebrating any movement, no matter how small. Did you try something new? Did you say yes to yourself, even once? That’s progress worth honouring.

Remember…..

Getting unstuck isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about honouring where you are, and trusting that even the smallest movement can create new momentum. If you’re feeling stuck, you’re not alone. And you’re certainly not finished.

What’s one small shift you can make this week?

Ready to explore what’s next?
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