The Friendship Factor: Why Your Social Life is Your Best Health Plan

As you navigate life beyond fifty, you may find yourself reflecting on what truly contributes to a fulfilling and long life. Amidst the myriad factors that influence happiness and longevity, one crucial element stands out above all others: social connectedness. Whether it’s family, friends, community, or even pets, the bonds you form with others play a pivotal role in your overall well-being. But fostering meaningful relationships doesn’t just happen—we have to be intentional about it.

Over the years, I’ve experimented with different ways to cultivate connection, and each step I’ve taken has taught me something valuable. This post shares both the science behind strong relationships and my own journey of rediscovering connections, enabling you to find an approach that resonates with you.

The Harvard Study: What It Taught Us About Happiness

One of the longest-running studies on human well-being, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, has tracked participants for over 80 years to determine what contributes most to a fulfilling life. The findings? It’s not money, status, or career achievements that predict happiness and longevity—it’s strong relationships. People who maintain deep and meaningful connections not only report greater happiness but also experience better physical health, lower stress, and even a reduced risk of cognitive decline.

But knowing this and acting on it are two different things. Life changes, routines shift, and relationships require effort to sustain. I’ve experienced firsthand how easy it is to let friendships slip when life gets busy—but I’ve also seen how rewarding it is to make them a priority.

Why Connection Matters More After Fifty

Life after fifty is full of transition—evolving family roles, shifting careers, physical changes, and a reassessment of what truly matters. While these changes can be exciting, they can also be unsettling. It’s easy to feel a sense of loss when roles that once defined us start to shift.

I experienced this firsthand when I left my long-term career to start a new solo venture. At first, the freedom was exhilarating—but I quickly realised just how isolating it was. The daily interactions I had taken for granted were gone. I felt the impact of that loss in ways I hadn’t expected—I was less motivated, less creative, and even found myself questioning my direction.

Once I recognised what was happening, I took action. I joined women’s business networks, became part of peer coaching groups, and scheduled lunches with other solopreneurs. These connections didn’t just fill my calendar—they nourished my spirit and reminded me that meaningful conversation and support are essential at every stage of life.

More recently, I faced another shift. My partner began travelling more for work, and my kids, now older and more independent, didn’t need me as much. I suddenly had more hours alone than I was comfortable with. Again, I knew I had to be proactive. I reached out to old friends, joined a social networking group to meet new people, and even took classes where I met incredible women who shared my interests. Each of these steps was a conscious choice to cultivate connection, and each one has enriched my life in ways I never anticipated.

The Biological Benefits of Connection

 Beyond emotional well-being, our bodies respond to connection in profound ways:

Lowers Stress & Reduces Inflammation– Engaging with close friends releases oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” which counteracts stress and lowers cortisol levels.

Boosts Immunity – Studies show that people with strong social ties have better immune function and are more resilient to illness.

Improves Heart Health – Loneliness has been linked to higher blood pressure and an increased risk of heart disease. Close connections help regulate these risks.

Enhances Cognitive Function – Regular social interactions stimulate the brain, reducing the risk of cognitive decline and dementia.

For me, the difference in my well-being before and after prioritising connectedness was unmistakable. When I felt isolated, I had more trouble focusing, was less motivated, and felt more anxious. Once I started filling my connection bucket—whether through a casual coffee chat or a structured group discussion—I felt more energised and grounded, and my spirits lifted.

How to Create and Deepen Meaningful Connections

If relationships are the key to happiness and longevity, it’s important to know how you can cultivate and sustain them. Here are a few approaches that have worked for me:

1. Prioritise Quality Over Quantity

It’s not about having a large social circle—it’s about having meaningful, enriching relationships. I used to think I needed a big network, but I’ve learned that a few deep, reciprocal connections matter far more than a large number of acquaintances.

  2. Make the First Move

Waiting for someone to reach out? Don’t. When I realised I was feeling isolated, I started reaching out first—whether it was a simple text, an invitation for coffee, or joining a new group. More often than not, people were happy to reconnect but had been hesitant to reach out themselves.

 3. Engage in Shared Activities

Friendships often deepen through shared experiences. I joined a walking group, attended book clubs, and signed up for workshops. These structured settings made it easier to bond over common interests and create new relationships naturally.

  4. Embrace Vulnerability

The most meaningful connections come from being open. I used to hold back, keeping things at a surface level. But when I started sharing my real thoughts and experiences, my friendships deepened in ways I hadn’t expected. Being seen and heard for who we truly are is incredibly powerful.

  5. Let Go of Draining Relationships

Not all relationships nourish us. Some deplete our energy or make us feel unseen. I’ve had to step away from certain friendships that no longer served my well-being—and while it wasn’t easy, it made space for deeper, more fulfilling connections to flourish.

A Simple Step to Start Today

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that connection doesn’t just happen—we have to create it. So today, I invite you to take a small but powerful step: reach out to someone you care about. Strengthen an old bond, nurture a new one, or simply express gratitude for a friend. It’s one of the most profound investments in your happiness and longevity.

And if you’re looking for a community of like-minded women navigating this stage of life, I’d love to welcome you into one of my programs or groups. Because we’re never meant to do this alone.

This blog is dedicated to my new friend Meg. She and I recently celebrated our 12-month friendaversary and reflected on the joy of knowing it’s never too late to make new friends: it just takes a little bit more courage.