Two-for-One: The Transformative Power of Intergenerational Relationships
Life after fifty can feel like entering uncharted territory for many professional women. As careers evolve, family roles shift, and social landscapes change, it’s natural to reflect on what truly matters for our health and well-being. If you’re reading this, you may have already sensed the importance of relationships—especially those that span generations—as vital sources of joy, purpose, and resilience.
This week has brought two powerful new confirmations of what I’ve long believed and witnessed in my work: the immense value of intergenerational connection—for us, and for the young people we mentor, love, and support. The first, featured on the Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood’s website, underscores the lifelong benefits of strong relationships in childhood. The second, from the Annals of Behavioral Medicine, offers compelling evidence that women over fifty not only give, but receive lasting health and well-being advantages through caring for—and being cherished by—children and young people. In other words, intergenerational connection truly is “two for the price of one.”
The Roots: Why Relationships Matter—Across the Decades
A landmark essay published last year has been in the media again this week. The Power of Human Connection in a Distracted World, co-authored by Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales, affirms the evidence that the best predictor of a happy, healthy, and long life is not our cholesterol or blood pressure, but the warmth and quality of our connections with others. These relationships are vital through every stage of life—but especially in childhood, when they form the very foundation for future emotional wellbeing and resilience. The authors put it this way:
The evidence is clear: if you could invest in just one thing to help you and your family thrive, invest in the relationships you have with each other.
As someone who spent years immersed in early childhood development, I have seen firsthand how nurturing environments filled with love, safety, and dignity build the scaffolding for healthy relationships far into adulthood. What’s striking, though, is how these lessons extend well beyond the nursery. They shape the grandchildren, mentees, and neighbourhood children we care for later in life as well—and, just as importantly, transform us as women over fifty.
New Evidence: How Intergenerational Relationships Foster “Healthy Ageing”
The new research from Australia, published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine earlier this year, tracked over 12,000 adults aged 70+ for up to nine years and found that almost half engaged in some form of regular childcare or support for children. Women participated slightly more than men, and both groups experienced meaningful benefits.
The highlights?
Social connection: Women who cared for children had more friends, richer community engagement, and significantly lower rates of social isolation.
Mental well-being: While men did not report improved psychological health, women experienced small but real boosts in life satisfaction and happiness.
Physical health: Men showed increased physical activity, while women (especially those providing more intensive care) sometimes reported more aches and slower walking—highlighting the need for balance and self-care alongside giving.
Longevity: Occasional childcare was associated with lower mortality for both men and women, with men showing a clear dose-response (the more they engaged, the longer they lived).
Healthful behaviours: Older adults involved with children tended to eat more fruits and vegetables, participate in preventive health activities, and volunteer more often.
The findings confirm what many of us intuitively know: staying engaged with younger generations gives us a sense of purpose, encourages healthier daily habits, and weaves us into a social fabric that sustains and protects.
Personal Reflections: Bridging Past and Present
For me, this moment of connection between scientific research and direct experience is deeply validating. My work for over a decade in early childhood development research taught me that investing in children in their early years sets them up for increased health and wellbeing. Central to this is the power of loving attention. Simply being present with children and offering undivided attention is an act of profound generosity and a gift that lasts a lifetime. Now, in coaching and group work with women over fifty, I see these lessons come full circle. Many of you have confided that spending time with grandchildren or young people infuses life with vitality and meaning. It’s a reminder that our time and energy are living gifts that continue to transform lives—including our own.
On a personal level, the opportunity to take a ‘grandparenting’ role has been presented in a different form. My children don’t have children, but my neighbours recently had a baby and have reached out for support. I sometimes take the baby for a stroll in the pram to give her parents a break, and I imagine over time there may be opportunities for more engaged ‘child care’. As I approach this new experience, I have been reminded by the research of what an important contribution I can make to this baby's life, even for a short time, and to her parents' life and most of all to mine.
Two-for-One: The Value for Young People
The benefits flow both ways, magnifying the value of connection. While you, as a woman over fifty, gain social support, renewed purpose, and mental lift, the young people in your life are shaped by these caring relationships:
Emotional security: Children who grow up with attentive, loving adults have stronger emotional skills, healthier relationships, and greater resilience.
Life skills and wisdom: Grandparents, mentors, and older friends transmit practical know-how and life stories that anchor identity and support growth.
Sense of belonging: In a rapidly changing and often disconnected world, reliable bonds across generations reinforce self-worth and confidence.
Children and teens, especially in today’s tech-saturated environment, need models of presence and authentic connection more than ever. When you offer these gifts, they help counteract loneliness and create a lasting legacy.
Navigating Challenges: The Need for Balance and Support
Of course, caregiving and connection are not without challenges. The recent Australian study notes that women who engage in more intensive childcare may experience increased physical strain, underlining the need to balance giving with self-nurturing. Healthy ageing requires not just activity and engagement, but sensitivity to our own limits and the courage to ask for help.
It’s also important that community programs make intergenerational opportunities accessible to all. Research shows that childcare engagement by grandparents is more common among those with socioeconomic advantages—pointing to a need for programs that bridge divides and offer support where it’s needed most.
Practical Tips: Flourishing Through Connection
So, how can we nurture intergenerational relationships in ways that sustain both ourselves and the young?
Be open to a wide circle: Remember, intergenerational connection isn’t just about blood relations. Mentorship, neighbours, and “chosen” family count, too.
Be intentionally present: Make time for real, undistracted connection—put down devices, listen deeply, and give your full attention.
Respect and set boundaries: Talk honestly about what you can and cannot do; healthy limits strengthen relationships over time.
Keep communication open: Check in regularly, express feelings, and encourage honesty—misunderstandings are natural, but can be resolved with care.
Join or start intergenerational groups: Look for community programs, volunteer opportunities, or clubs where people of different ages mix and learn from one another.
A Call to Action: Making Connection a Core Value
As I reflect on the connections between early childhood wisdom, contemporary science, and the lived reality of women stepping into their next chapter, one message shines through: Investing in relationships with the young (and with our peers) is perhaps the most powerful step you can take for personal and societal wellbeing.
If you could invest in just one thing to help yourself and your family thrive, let it be the relationships in your life. Spend time with the children in your life, be truly present, and know that your contribution matters—today, tomorrow, and for generations to come.
The value of intergenerational bonds is not just about healthy ageing—it is about creating a more loving and connected world, one relationship at a time.
References:
The Power of Human Connection in a Distracted World.
Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood. (2024). Guest essay by Dr. Jacqueline King.
Annals of Behavioral Medicine, Volume 59, Issue 1, January 2025, Article kaaf082.