Let’s Flip The Script on Ageing For Women
As Ageism Awareness Day approaches on October 9, I’ve been thinking about how we talk about ageing, especially for women over fifty. Words like “seniors” and “older adults” often miss the mark. They don’t capture the strength, wisdom, and potential that women at this stage of life bring to the table. Instead, these labels can make women feel like they’re fading into the background, reinforcing the idea that ageing is all about decline. But I’ve seen something very different, both in my own life and in the lives of the women I work with.
What if we flipped the script and started seeing ageing as an advantage? That’s where the idea of the 'Modern Elder' comes in.
What is a Modern Elder?
The term was coined by Chip Conley as a way of reframing ageing as a unique advantage after finding himself, at age 52, working alongside much younger colleagues at Airbnb. Instead of feeling irrelevant, he recognised that his age brought gifts like experience, emotional intelligence and perspective. His openness to learning from younger generations created a dynamic exchange of wisdom — a hallmark of the Modern Elder. The concept has been further expanded over the last six years by Conley and the folks at The Modern Elder Academy to include experiences and contributions beyond the workplace.
Key Traits of a Modern Elder?
At the core of the Modern Elder concept are several characteristics that redefine ageing and highlight the value of experience and wisdom, including:
Continuous learning and growth. Modern Elders remain curious and open to new experiences, understanding that wisdom comes from both teaching and being teachable.
Emotional intelligence. Developed through years of life experiences, emotional inteligence supports Modern Elders to navigate complex social dynamics, offer compassionate mentorship and foster meaningful relationships.
Adaptability and resilience. Modern Elders are encouraged to embrace change and view life transitions as opportunities for growth and reinvention, rather than as obstacles or setbacks.
Purpose and contribution. Modern Elders seek to make meaningful contributions to their communities and the world. They find purpose in serving others, whether through mentorship, volunteering or other forms of engagement.
Authenticity. Modern Elders live authentically, guided by their true selves. They have the confidence to be who they are, embracing their strengths and acknowledging their vulnerabilities.
Wisdom and perspective. Modern Elders bring a wealth of wisdom and perspective to any situation. They draw on their extensive life experiences to provide thoughtful insights and sound judgment.
Intergenerational connections. Modern Elders mentor younger generations while also learning from them, creating a dynamic exchange of ideas and perspectives that benefit all involved.
Why I Love the Term ‘Modern Elder’ For Women
For women over fifty, the idea of the Modern Elder is especially empowering. It highlights women's ability to draw upon a lifetime of experience while remaining open to learning and evolving. It recognises that women over fifty are not merely ageing — they are entering a time where their accumulated wisdom and insights become invaluable assets. Women in this stage of life have navigated numerous challenges, honed their skills and developed a deep understanding of themselves and the world around them. This rich reservoir of experience enables them to offer profound contributions to the people and communities they connect with.
At the same time, women's openness to learning and evolving ensures that they remain adaptable and relevant in a rapidly changing world. This dual capacity — to draw from the past while embracing the future — positions women over fifty to be powerful agents of change and growth. They are not just passive recipients of aging but active participants in shaping their lives and the lives of those around them. This perspective is empowering and transformative, encouraging women to see life after fifty as a rewarding time of life full of continued growth, fulfilment and influence.
The concept of the Modern Elder also reflects the idea of purpose-driven living, which resonates deeply with the women I work with. Many of them are navigating significant transitions, whether it’s retirement, career shifts or changes in family dynamics, and the Modern Elder framework gives them a meaningful way to approach these changes. It encourages them to seek out and embrace new purposes that align with their values and passions, fostering a sense of fulfilment and direction.
Purpose-driven living is about more than just staying busy; it’s about engaging in activities and roles that bring satisfaction and a sense of contribution. For women over fifty, this might mean mentoring younger generations, volunteering in their communities or pursuing long-held personal interests. The Modern Elder concept validates their experiences and encourages them to continue growing and contributing in ways that are deeply meaningful to them. This approach not only enriches women’s own lives but also has a positive impact on those around them, creating a ripple effect of wisdom, support and inspiration.
My Experience with These Issues
Having worked closely with professional women over fifty, I’ve seen firsthand the struggles and triumphs that come with this stage of life. Many women fear becoming invisible and undervalued despite their significant contributions and strengths. This fear keeps them stuck in jobs they don’t like, prevents them from exploring new opportunities, and hinders their ability to pursue their passions. It can also lead to a reluctance to retire because they worry about losing their sense of identity and purpose without the structure and recognition that a career provides.
Additionally, this fear can lead to a lack of confidence in their abilities to make meaningful changes in their lives and sometimes, leading to social isolation, as they withdraw from activities and relationships that could otherwise enrich their lives. Ultimately, it prevents them from fully embracing the potential and opportunities that come with this stage of life, keeping them from experiencing the joy and fulfilment they deserve.
Through my programs, ‘Life On Your Terms’ and ‘Life Beyond Work,’ I empower women to redefine their identities, discover new purposes, and embrace the joy of becoming Modern Elders. Participants gain a clearer vision of their desired life, adopt a positive growth mindset, and develop the confidence to pursue their goals and passions. As a result, they live flourishing and fulfilling lives after fifty.
On this Ageism Awareness Day, let’s make a commitment to shifting our language and mindset and embracing women over fifty as our respected and valued Modern Elders.