The Freedom of Becoming
A client in her 50s recently told me about her “lifequake” — a marriage breakdown followed by a major shift at work. It was confronting and exhausting. But as we talked, she realised she had been doing something powerful: getting clear on what truly mattered to her now. Not what mattered in her 30s, or even last year — but in this season of her life. She began to see she wasn’t just surviving change. The lifequake had cracked open an opportunity to reset her compass, pointing her toward a truer version of herself — and she was becoming. She wasn’t simply finding a “new normal.” She was experiencing movement, transformation, and the beautiful process of evolving into who she is at this point in her life.
In our younger years, we often define ourselves by careers, relationships, and social roles. But after 50, something shifts: we have the freedom — and the courage — to define ourselves entirely on our own terms.
Why 50+ is Your Time to Shine
Society often frames midlife as a time of decline or invisibility, but the truth is quite the opposite. Research consistently shows that women who embrace midlife transitions experience higher life satisfaction and personal growth. The Seattle Midlife Women’s Health Study found “rediscovering self” is the greatest challenge—and opportunity—at this stage.
What makes midlife so uniquely powerful? It’s where accumulated wisdom meets newfound freedom. By 50, you’ve lived through storms, learned what matters, and gained emotional intelligence. Many external pressures ease: children grow independent, careers shift, and the need for others’ approval lessens.
Dr. Brené Brown calls this time “the midlife unraveling” — not a breakdown but a breakthrough into wholeness. As one woman put it, “I stopped asking for permission to lead. I’m done trying to be someone else’s version of competent.”
The Science Behind Becoming
The ability to reinvent ourselves after 50 isn’t just hopeful thinking—it’s neuroscience. Our brains remain plastic, ready to learn and grow. Women who adopt a growth mindset at midlife—seeking new experiences and challenges—report more happiness and less stress.
Psychologists describe this time as “self-authorship,” where we begin rejecting external expectations and create lives aligned with who we truly are. With decades of experience behind us, we’re well equipped to tell the difference between what matters and what doesn’t.
Stories of Becoming
Consider Bronwyn Oliver, who began her celebrated career as a sculptor later in life, creating iconic public artworks that reshaped Australian art. Or Trish Hurley and Jacqui Richards, who found their comedic voices and rose to fame in their 50s. Then there’s Colleen McCullough, who published her bestselling novel The Thorn Birds in her 50s, proving that creative success can come at any age. These women didn’t “start over”. They expanded into fuller versions of themselves.
Melissa Giberson’s memoir Late Bloomer chronicles a daring journey of asking, “What if everything I thought I knew about myself was just the beginning?” Her story resonates deeply with women hearing the quiet call to become more fully themselves.
The Becoming Process
The journey of becoming is deeply personal, yet certain practices can guide the way:
1. Practice Self-Inquiry: Regular reflection through journaling, meditation, or conversations with trusted friends helps clarify what truly matters. Ask yourself: What parts of myself did I set aside to fit into expected roles? What would I do differently if judgment didn't exist?
2. Identify Core Values: Understanding what genuinely matters to you—not what you think should matter—provides the foundation for authentic decision-making. Let these values guide your choices moving forward.
3. Embrace Small Experiments: Becoming doesn't require dramatic overnight changes. Start with small acts of authenticity: speaking up in meetings, trying new hobbies, setting gentle boundaries, or simply wearing something that makes you happy rather than what you think others expect.
4. Build Supportive Community: Surround yourself with people who encourage authentic self-expression. This might mean deepening existing relationships or seeking new connections with like-minded women on similar journeys.
5. Challenge the "Too Old" Narrative: Age is not a limitation on growth, creativity, or contribution. It’s your greatest asset. Age brings experience and self-knowledge that sharpen your judgment, deepen your empathy, and give you the confidence to live more fully on your own terms.
The process requires courage. Authentic living means being willing to disappoint others in service of honoring yourself. It means setting boundaries, pursuing neglected passions, and sometimes making dramatic changes that others might not understand. As one woman who left a 30-year corporate career to become a nonprofit CEO explained: "I thought I had a plan. But what came next was reinvention—and it was exactly what my soul needed."
The Gift of Becoming
The invitation is both simple and profound: to stop apologising for taking up space and start celebrating the wisdom, strength, and beauty that come with living authentically after 50. Your becoming journey doesn't require permission, perfect timing, or a complete roadmap. It simply requires the courage to begin—and the trust that who you're meant to become has been waiting inside you all along.
The time for becoming is now. The permission is yours to give. The possibilities are limitless.
Whether your becoming journey involves dramatic life changes or subtle shifts toward greater authenticity, remember that every step matters. As one woman who embraced major transformation at 53 powerfully stated: "I'm not changing who I am. I'm finally showing who I've always been."
That, perhaps, is the essence of becoming after 50— revealing the magnificent woman who has always existed beneath layers of expectation, obligation, and fear. She's been there all along, waiting for her moment to emerge. That moment is now.